my mellow period is kicking in.. and don't ask me why or how.. i just don't know..i could blame it to my hormonal cycle. i could blame it to the stress i got at work. i could blame it to other things that happened now in my life. but i don't know exactly what is the cause of it all.
i envy someone..nah, envy might not be the right word to describe it.. maybe i just want someone to see me as i am and tell me that i'm good enough..for him. for her. for them. not just sweet words by telling me that i'm good, i'm strong, i'm kind.. it just never enough. never. am i asking too much? am i greedy?
i feel that i'm walking on a rope, waiting to fall, or still walking until the end of the road. i am holding my balance but in the same time i'm losing it. and it's all dark around me. a pitch black. and i'm hoping to see some light. just a tiny light to guide my way.
i don't want to become faithless one more time. once is enough. enough to teach me how it feels to be hopeless and meaningless. enough to teach me to be angry to the one that create it all.
i miss the time that i felt that i'm useful and alive. i don't know why that i felt empty. and indeed need someone to fill the emptiness.
maybe i'm just asking too much...
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